Halala: The Ultimate Matchmaking

The recent outburst by Afzal Qadri of Tehrek Labayk Pakistan against General Qamar Bajwa, General Faiz Hameed, PM Imran Khan and defensive or rather defenseless judges of Supreme Court, who issued the verdict in favour of Aasia Maseeh, seems that Deobandi Halala is on the cards and Deobandies are again in the market.

Deobandi Talaq was solomanized after them doing things they were not trained to do. Killing men and their kids indiscriminately and brutally. Hence a couple married for thirty years, went their separate ways, but proximity infatuation causes incurable romanticism syndrome.

Talaq, Halal but undesirable act, was committed. One-thing which has been realised by all now that circumstances for this undesirable separation, were not made by the couple, but by neighbours and perceived Nanad and Bhabhi, who misled them both, pitching them against each other. That has been the case, no matter how funny or naive it may sound. "It was not my fault”, claimed by both afterwards, no matter how immature and hilarious it sounds in such cases.

Talaq after 30 odd years, left both very bitter but in somewhat comfortable position. Both started to look for new partners and as desperate one can be, Brelvi partner was choosen for various reasons. One reason, they are non-fatal to begin with.

Brelvi Nikkah was imminent and necessary but not a great deal of thinking was done about it, apparently.

Brelvi approaches, started with Canadian national Tahir ul Qadri. This matchmaking reached its pinical, when he landed in Lahore 2014, after making a well disguised London Plan. Matchmakers made sure that Tehrek Minhaj ul Quran turn Pakistan Awami Tehrek becomes a force to reckon, with PTI in an apparently uncomfortable cousin marriage. They decimated whatever state authority Punjab and Federal governments had and made sure that each time they made their invasions towards Islamabad, for so called Inqalab with help of Tabdili, their entries were made a walk in the park.

This matchmaking was done keeping in view the history of Brelvi lack of killer instinct. The seventies movement of Khatam e Nabuwat led by Moulana Shah Ahmed Norani was helped by JI, with most organized street agitation capability and other political parties, making it first ever successful invasion in the name of Kafir vs Muslim against Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto.

The falling out with second Brelvi love ended, due to Tahir ul Qadri two major reasons. 1st: Tahir ul Qadri, a high class orator, had built an audience in West and places, with money to spend. They were funding him heavily, due to his impressive and pragmatic view of Islam. He was not willing to lose what he had, for something he was unsure about, he may get or may not. Matchmakers think of him as an unreliable actor, and he did not think of them any other way.

Second: Him receiving instant dowry, not from his apparent love but from their targets. This was classic case of buying your opponent’s lawyer and wining the trial by Nawaz Sharif and Asif Ali Zardari.

Till then, Deobandies were still not acceptable, although they kept making open and hidden approaches. Moulana Fazal ur Rehman kept insisting that they were and are the best bride available. Cheap and desperate.

With the entry of Khadim Hussain Rizvi and Afzal Qadri of Tehrek Labayk Ya Rasool Allah, another Brelvi bride, in a very orchestrated manner, with license to kill, made the boat go sideways for everyone. They were given the power in name of Khatam e Nabuwat to declare anyone Kafir and his/her political or physical death became imminent. But now them declaring the current ruling lot Kafir and Wajibul Qatal with garnishing of mutiny, have agitated everyone.

Deobandies are seeing this as an opportunity to offer their bride of Jihad d/o Qatal, with no strings attached. As they are much more organized, have larger and reliable family. Though not very reputable.

Matchmakers are thinking, because Halala though a rare phenomenon, but has Sharia’s blessings. Halala will be difficult to do but not very difficult to sell, with Brelvi lack of sophistication on display so far. They are already becoming unpopular for their culinary skills. As they say "road to man’s heart is through his stomach”, not below. Size matters but longevity matters most.

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مزید تحاریر

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